OK, I thought I better kick this off by explaining why I name it such. It’s the nearest big town but is a pain in the arse to reach. I started a yoga course there last Thursday. So I left work early, knowing that with the state of the buses it might take me 2 hours to travel the 20 or so miles to the back end of Dundee. OK, I got a bus there no problem – it was ready to leave just as I got to the bus station. The journey was fast but the bus had NO suspension – my back pain leapt up with each pothole deeper than a nanometre.

At Dundee bus station, I asked at the information desk where my next bus would leave from. ‘I don’t know – it’s run by a different bus company.’ (The different bus company is ‘Strathtay’.) The info-bot guessed it would go from somewhere about half a mile away. What in hell is the point of having a bus station if bus companies don’t use it? Why is Strathtay not using it? Answers on soggy toast to the usual address please.

Anyway, I trudged to the bus-stop the info-bot suggested. Turns out he was right so I waited for the next bus. Wow! This bus-stop even had a timetable! A vast improvement on their ‘our website is under construction’ nonsense. A 20-minute wait punctuated by boredom and muttering as I translated how late my bus was into octal and binary. Finally, my bus turned up. What’s this – the bastards don’t give change! (My fare was £1 and I had 73 pence and two £10 notes.) No indication of this nonsense policy the bus-stop. I had had plenty of time to get change. Hell, it might have even attenuated some of the boredom.

The driver told me to get on and sort out getting change from another passenger. No-one had change of a tenner but a kindly Dundonian gave me the 27 pence I needed. Another saw I was checking where we were going on a map and offered to point out where I needed to get off. (I hate the place, not the inmates.)

At Dundee college, the security guard who was doubling as info-bot was totally surly. ‘You’re too early’ Ahem, isn’t being at a lesson early part of being a good student? Also, the joining instructions told students to be there 15 minutes early to register. So bollocks to Dundonian info-bots – they’re not human so they are part of the place and it is legitimate to hate them.

The room we were in was stuffy, south-facing and very hot. As other students arrived, we all commented on the heat and unsuitability. I have to congratulate the yoga teacher though – her lesson made me feel wonderful. Here’s her website.

Back to more reasons to hate Dundee: after the class, no-one I met could give me change for the bus. So I started walking back along the route, hoping to encounter a shop. I did but was passed by my bus on the way – the next one would be about an hour. However, I did meet a taxi who was looking for a passenger. On the way, the driver sneered at my accent, at regular car drivers and life in general. He claimed that taxi-drivers could drive but everyone else couldn’t. I replied ‘fair enough, most folk could do my job if they had the 10 year’s experience that I have but they don’t so they can’t’. (I refrained from saying they don’t have the necessary masochism.) Anyway, I was deposited at the bus station and a short wait later, Emily turned up – such a wonder to see a familiar, friendly face and a good time ensued at Shepherd’s Cottage. Shame Emily had to crash so early but she is mother to a one-year-old who wakes her at 6 in the morning. Many thanks to Emily for a lift to work the next morning and to all three deepfreezites for a lovely hot bath in the morning.

OK, I think I’ve written enough for a first entry.