Today I went to Livingston to find out more about the job I mentioned in my last post. Livingston is worse than Glenrothes for roundabouts and numpties. After half an hour in the factory, I was in possession of two fascinating pieces of information:

• When I wear my glasses, my eyesight is perfect (according to the factory’s tests).
• The job is eight solid hours (no breaks at all, apparently), sitting at a machine, doing the following:
  1. holding a piece of sterile thread and a surgical needle together in a notch and pressing a pedal to make the machine join them
  2. move the joined needle-and-thread forward one notch, rotating it through 45° and pressing the pedal to make the match pinch the join to strengthen it
  3. rotating the joined needle-and-thread back through 90° and pressing the pedal so the machine stregthens the other side of the join
  4. moving the joined needle-and-thread to the front of the machine and pressing the pedal again to make the join curve like the rest of the needle already does.

I was told that skilled workers can turn out 300 units an hour – one unit every 30 seconds. I’m so looking forward to this job.

I won’t know whether or not I have the job until the end of this week – the factory is interviewing more potential staff. There are 36 vacancies to be filled. Please wish me luck.