Hi there

I arrived in India’s equivalent of Blackpool-cum-Evesham last night, except there’s no puke on the streets or shagging in bus-shelters. I’m using a very frail dial-up connection so will keep this very brief.

The specialities here appear to be fruit-growing (blackberries, strawberries especially) and locally made fudge. I won’t get fruit for obvious reasons but if anyone wants some local fudge, best to text me on 07909 504328 (I won’t be able to text back) because I won’t be checking email again before I leave here (in 2 or 3 days) – it’s just too painful. (This is the fourth time I’ve tried – either there’s a power-cut or the phone system is down.)

If you call my cellphone it costs us both huge amounts but it’s no problem to receive a text saying ‘call me on …’ and for me then to find an ISD phone booth – they’re all over India.

OK, time to try posting this…