randomising my bozoness

When Mood Music
2006-03-03 10:16:00

from an internet cafe near the Taj Mahal hotel, this is a trnscription of my diary so far…

Tuesday 28th
woken at 4.30am, full of mucus
train 7 minutes late
on train with art teacher

crazed picknicking i the english countryside
and the cassette played pop tones

[at consulate] no system for enforcing number queues
[eat] subway
little ****** giving out passports with visas
big ****** receiving his
RA is impressive – contains Royal Society of Chemistry
Biting fingernails to armpits = Bruce de Milo?
rental permission sorted [rental agent put the head on mortgage company’s brickwall]
So however/luggage panic
Piccadilly [wish I could remember what I meant by this]
[other pssenger’s] leg caught in yube door
Bus to hotel short distance as crow flies but actual route as convoluted as a herd of cows’ intestines in a strong improbability field

Wednesday 1st
Dad sorts palm
On board, [piped music is] an instrumental version of HOTEL CALIFORNIA!!!!
Get three seats because of cough
4493 miles of turbulence to go
take off hour late
7387feet = 2462 yards = 1.5 miles
Marianne and I get pissed on Johnny Walker Red Label
Vegan food issue but staff very helpful
[fly over] Volga or Don ??? around 12.30 (1.5 hours flying = 1000 miles)
Slept 1 to 3.30 Uk time (awoke over Qyumran?)
[at Mumbai airport] change money, [taxi to] Golden Lion hotel in Andheri [suburb]

Thursday 2nd
Wake 10.30 am a bit dehydrated/tired
write off shirt and trainers
[hotel bod guides me to station and queues for my ticket – fantastic customer service!]
At Andheri station: anti-bush/european (products) rally and I’m a whitey with a cuddly pig
Feng Shui advertised
“7 days without bible makes one weak”
Liberty hotel
colours like poorer CA [khaki]
sleep, ****, shower, meander to Marine Drive
Say no to at least to beggars
Then see Pizza Express [and am torn between laughing and anger]
get lost after dark!
Found Liberty restaurant but not hotl
ate alu methi with steamed rice and ganga jamuna (orange and lime) juice, followed by fruit salad. BROKE ALL THE RULES [drank unknown-source water]
restaurant offered “sugar free chai for our diabetic customers”
spent ages looking for my wohnung []Liberty Hotel, 49 2nd Marine Street, near Metro cinema, behind Round Masjid, Dhobitalao, Mumbai 400002

Friday 3rd
Lay awake from midnight to 4 am, thinking about morality [much excised here] Only conclusion so far is that I am intellectually and morally deficient.
4 am dogs barking – tired but not sleepy

So, I’m still alive and have been ‘adopted’ by Henry, a ‘tour guide’ who has been honest and helpful. He’s shown me where to sleep for 175Rs (2UKP) a night, where to get my watch-strap repaired, to a toilet when I was in urgent need, to this internet cafe. My tum is rumbling but no problems so far apart from possible slight dehydration. With the exception of 1 glass of water and the fruit salad, I’ve eaten safely and if anything happens, I only have myself to blame.

Mumbai – think of every film you’ve seen with teeming masses, dilute it a bit, add cars where people live on their horn buttons, cellphones, the occasional beggar, lots of street life. Well, so far it’s Ankh Morpork but without the dragons and Thieve’s Guild. So far so good

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