specks or planks?

When Mood Music
2005-05-15 20:06:00

A public thank-you to pointing out that my scanner would work under OSX. (I found a few drivers had gone astray in my ‘classic’ install of OS9·1.)

This blog is proud to present some snippets from Private Eye:

1. Why I’m proud to be Australian

Gotta hand it to those Tassies: first splitting the beer atom, now this!

‘We came up with the idea after reading about how elephant dung paper has become a huge tourist product in Africa and Asia,’ Joanna Gair of the Creative Paper Tasmania company told a product pre-launch in Hobart. ‘Then I discovered that in Scandinavia, elk poo paper is the stationery of choice in most offices, and that got me thinking that we should create a uniquely Tasmanian paper. And what better raw material could we use than kangaroo dung?’

Gair was speaking ahead of the full launch later this spring of a full range of handmade “Roo Poo” paper products, all created from wallaby and kangaroo dung. ‘Roo Poo paper is the ultimate in recycling, and it reinforces the ecological message of our company. Half the fibre pulping has already taken place inside the animal, which means that the bulk of our work has already been done. Our only problem is that we’re having difficulty in getting the quantity of dung we need. We need about 25kg of kangaroo manure to produce 400 sheets of A4 paper, so well need several tons of it before we can launch our full range of products, including cards and paper. And that’s a lot of plop. We’re hoping that the community will help us by collecting kangaroo and wallaby dung for us wherever they see it, and dropping it off in plastic bags. Recycled bags of course. New or old (poo), we’ll take it all.’

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2. Snafu what a scorcher

They might be flying multi-billion dollar state-of-the-art military aircraft, but if flight crews don’t know right from left or metres from feet, pity the people on the ground.

Two crew members flying a B2 stealth aircraft returned to the US from a bombing exercise in the UK last month having to explain how they missed their static target by nearly 1,000ft.

‘Fury l’ had flown to Holbeach bombing range non-stop from Whiteman air force base in Missouri as part of a training mission and was supposed to have destroyed an orange boat moored on mud flats at the Lincolnshire range. Before take-off, however, the crew were instructed to offset their targeting by 300ft to the right into some mud flats as a direct hit would apparently have resulted in a huge and potentially dangerous fragmentation area.

Instead, the crew entered an offset of some 300 metres to the left and dropped two bombs on land well offtarget.

An MoD spokesman confirmed that the B2s were using the range for target practice but said he could not comment on the success or otherwise of the mission. ‘But that is the whole point of training and practice. You learn the lessons and get it nght.’

As one crew member of ‘Fury l’ was recorded saying to the RAF traffic controller: ‘Sir we got a long trip to get our story straight on that one.’

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