Waving my puny fist

When Mood Music
2005-02-20 15:43:00 vindictive? Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins-Leonard Nimoy-Spaced Out

My phone service providers annoyed me by sending an inaccurate bill. Here’s my response

Dear (name withheld for fear of being sued for libel)

I have just received your bill dated 03 February 2005, billing account UW24800566AAAAA. I tried to phone you this evening to sort this out but was cut off by your call-waiting system.

Since today is 18th February 2005, this bill has obviously been posted just under 2 weeks after it was generated.

This bill mentions “charges for previous period £108·88”. This would frighten a gullible person into paying much more than they owe. Fortunately for me, I keep accurate records.

  • £43·22 of this bill is from a bill dated 03 December 2004 (due to be paid on 29th December 2004). I did not receive this bill until I arrived home after Christmas. The day I did so, I phoned you and gave your operator my switch card details. Your operator accepted these and told me the amount would soon be charged to that account. This was 7th January 2005.
  • I noticed a while later that this had not been charged and again phone you to pay by switch. This was around 17th January. Again I was told that the amount would be charged to my account within 10 days. This did not happen.
  • Some time later, I received a bill dated 05 January 2005, payable on 28th January 2005. This bill mentioned that I still owed you £43·22 from previous bills. Since I saw this as your problem – I had twice tried to pay by switch and my details had been accepted both times – on 1st February I paid the £65·66 from that billing period. Your operator, Alex, accepted the switch details (the same account as used previously) and £65·66 was charged to that account within a reasonable time.
  • This still left the matter of the “outstanding”; £43·22. Since I do not like owing money, on 11th February, I phoned you and spoke to your operator Paul. I gave him the details of another switch account. Again, he accepted these details! Again the amount has not been charged.

So now we turn to the current bill. You are trying to charge me for £43·22 which I do owe you but have tried to pay three times. Also you are trying to charge me £65·66 which I have already paid.

Don’t waste time writing apologies. Instead, here is what you are to do:

  • First, charge £43·22 to account XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXX, sort code XX-XX-XX, expiry date XX/XX, issue X.
  • Next, issue a bill for the 01 January 2005 to 31 January 2005 billing period only. This will be £53·90, inclusive of VAT. This bill will also show that all previous periods have been paid off.
  • Next, I will contact on the first weekday after receiving the correct bill to pay this, again by switch. However you must wait for me to contact you to know which account to charge.

To conclude, you send out bills which are late and incorrect and your phone system does not work.

Yours sincerely

Dr Bruce M Ryan

JJ was much less subtle…

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