The following were posted today to a mac discussion/help list I’m on:

1. Actual real-life helpdesk request that we got JUST this morning:
   “I walked into the lab this morning to find the dreaded blue screen on . It is first time it has come up, so I simply restarted the PC. Is this an indication of potentially bad hard drive?”
2. The one thing that drives me absolutely nucking futz as a IT support person is:
   “got an error message (can’t remember exact words).” (or my favorite: “I got an error, I didn’t write it down because it was all computer gobbldeygook”) followed by the clear expectation that I am clairvoyant and can magically know what went wrong.
   At this point my only possible advice is this:

Never EVER do either of these to me.

Update

Here’s another one:
Someone had a problem.
I asked “Have you changed anything recently?”
Response: “No”
I looked down and picked up a Software package (I think it was an OS upgrade).
I asked about it.
Response: “Oh, yeah, I installed that.”